Babble

What God Taught Me Last 2014

I sit here typing early in the morning trying to find the right words to say to share these things deep with my heart. 2014 has been a rough year for me and I learned many things the hard way. Some of these took me months to realize, and some took me years to learn. I want to share these things to you so that you could avoid the mistakes I have made and be a source of encouragement to those who might need them.

1. There is no greater misery than losing God.

To me, 2014 was a year of grief. It was the year I understood my father’s murder and death. You see, I have never cried for him. It never bothered me when I talked to my friends about my father before. But now, it’s all different. Being very young, greatly influenced by movies, miraculous stories, and having never experienced a gunshot wound, I have always thought that my father was pathetic for dying easily. Until that fateful date of March, just a few days after my father’s death anniversary, I discovered the newspaper clippings detailing the murder of my father. That day was unbearable. Reading it felt like I was reading the latest news even though it was 18 years ago. I trembled and wept as I read the newspaper articles that also showed the picture of his fallen body. Everything finally became real to me. His death was no longer a light matter to me. His death was a murder, a cold-blooded murder. For the first time in my life, I wept for him. I became miserable for weeks because there’s no one I could blame. Everybody has already moved on from his death, and I had just began to understand. There was no point in holding on it and I eventually moved on.

2014 was the year my heart was consumed by the poison of unbelief. It started out small, then it seeps through your entire being. My faith was already weakening at the start of 2014. Every month came with a blow to me that gave room for unbelief to grow into me. I hated God and became bitter with God. Eventually, like a bitter ex-lover, I had denied His existence. I know that there is God and that He is God. But I was a mad woman and despite knowing these things I chose to deny His existence. I thought that I could go on living the way I was but I eventually became miserable. Everyday became a chore, nothing could make me happy. I was unhappy and empty and life became meaningless and pointless. Deep within my being wants Him and yearned for Him. Though I deny Him, I kept dreaming about having conversations with Him. The more I denied Him, the more miserable I became.

On the 3rd quarter of 2014, I realized that there is no greater misery than losing God. I didn’t want to go on living and being miserable. I had to go back to the Source of joy and happiness and here I am now regaining the things I lost in 2014. My goal this 2015 is to strengthen my faith on the Lord, rekindle my love for Him, and regain the Christ I lost.

2. Accept that things are not going to become better.

God has been teaching me this lesson for many years now and I have kept myself stubborn from learning. This lesson was the hardest for me to learn and was the reason for my miserable 2014. I have learned and understood for the past few years that things are never going to change but it was very difficult for me to accept that things are not going to become better. It was hard for me to accept that whenever there are problems, it’s never going to be easier than the last problem, but harder! I wanted to have the easy life but God will never give that to me. Life is never made that way. Life is made to become harder as it goes to make you learn to become stronger, smarter, wiser, and whole lot of -ers. If God made life easier, how can we learn to become better? How can we built up the church if we’re just dust, rubble, and twigs? I learned that these things don’t just happen to make my life more unbearable. These things happen for a purpose! He wants to become a better person to become a part of His minerals and precious stones for the building up of His church.

3 & 4. It’s OK to be not OK. It’s OK to cry. Crying is the art of letting go.

For years, I have raised myself like a man with phrases like “Suck it up”, “Don’t cry over spilled milk”, and “____ is not worth crying over” because I don’t want to be weak. I hate being weak and to me crying is a sign of weakness. God had pushed me to my boundaries and kept me struggling not to cry. Being strong and not crying is very tiring because I could not release my pains and frustrations. I kept my feelings bottled up. I remember one time my mom is crying to me and I told her, “Bakit ka umiiyak? Matanda ka na wag kang umiyak! (Why are you crying? You already a grown woman so stop crying!)” I then realized that because of my inability to cry, I had become bitter, cruel, and unsympathetic.

I remember a dear brother in our church told me (though I doubt he remembers it was him who told me), “It’s ok to cry. We’re weak and human.” Talking to him made me feel it’s ok to be not be strong and that it’s ok to be human. “It’s OK to be not OK” was a phrase a dear sister from our church taught me, “as long as we don’t from being not ok”, she would add. Because saying “I’m OK.” is lying to yourself and not giving yourself a chance to let go of the things you’re not ok with. Lastly, here’s my favorite reason why it’s ok to cry:

I know this is shocking but… 5. People need to get married.

I have always thought that I can live with myself and go on living relying on myself. Then, after all that happened last 2014, I realized that people need to get married so that they can share the problems, help each other, and bring each other up. Yes these are all achievable with friends and family but these people can’t always be with you and be there for you because they also have their only lives. Unlike them, your future husband or wife will be tied to you and will share the same life with you. Therefore both of you will have to help each other.

But that is just a realization and not my priority. I still love my independent life and will be keeping myself single for a while.

And that’s it! I hope you didn’t get too tired from reading. I hope I had encouraged some of you. 🙂

Please do share with me what 2014 has taught you.

Love Always,

Jacques

Yoko’s New Summer Look

It is summer now here in the Philippines. Yoko is our dog that was passed down for me to take care when my cousins moved to Canada. I decided to cut her fur because I noticed how her nose is always dripping wet and from what I know, dogs sweat from their noses. Just imagine how hot she feels with all her fur. I, a normal human being, has been sweating a lot this past few weeks. We have no air conditioning to give to her.

Yoko's New Summer Look

It’s not the first time I cut her fur. Except this time I think I believe I became rusty. My attempt was so laughable that I had to cut off all her fur. In the picture above is one of my rough shots of her final look. Though, she looks so much better than the pictured photo.

Yoko Fur Loss

People relax, it’s just fur. I did her no harm. I did not cut her fur out of boredom. Her fur will grow back again. But you know, even if her image changed from a lion into a lamb she still looks adorable. We also noticed some changes in her behavior like she became less cranky and sluggish and she’s more active and happier. Her fur will grow back in no time, ready for the rainy season.

Jacques

Back Alive | Estée Lauder Travel Case

3rd Best Oral DefenseBy God’s grace and mercy, we came 3rd in Best Oral Defense

February was a hell for us college graduating students. I was so busy I wasn’t able to fulfill my resolution to blogging twice a week. We were packed with papers, deadlines, quizzes, and exams. Looking back everything seemed like a mad rush for us and February just seemed like it was just yesterday. It seemed like it was just yesterday when we were defending our thesis defense. But now, we’re glued in our screens waiting for our final grades to be released and anticipating our graduation march this April.

I am now free from all my school constraints! I can now freely blog as much as I want.

Estée Lauder Gift Box

I received a travel case from my Ninang for Christmas back in December. It’s my Ninang who would always give me Estée Lauder gifts. I’ve meant to post about this but due to school work I held back. I just loved her gift for me, even my mom wanted it! She kept bugging me before that I should just give it to her but I wouldn’t budge.

Estée Lauder Travel Bag

The travel case  is very beautiful and functional. It also contains a few beauty essentials.

20130129_162137The upper zipper contains: 3 compact disc eyeshadow quads, 1 Blushing Cheek Natural CheekColor Duo, 3 Pure Color Nail Lacquer, and a makeup brush set.

Estée Lauder Makeup Brush Set

Estée Lauder Travel Bag Lower

The lower zipper contains: 1 More than Mascara mascara, 4 Re-Nutriv All-Day Lipsticks, 3 Lip Defining Pencils, and 1 Eye Defining Pencil.

I am in love with most of the items! What Estée Lauder product have you tried?

Jacques

My Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 10.1 Experience

Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 10.1

The beginning of the year, I was informed that my friend and I won a Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 10.1. I was informed some few weeks later that we could already claim our prize. My friend and I decided to claim our prize a week after our Senior’s Retreat, which was the week of our prelim exams.

Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 10.1

It’s the first time we won something this expensive. At first, my friend and I were really afraid that we might have fallen into some trap, or scam. We tried to remain optimistic about it though. After reaching the office the representative asked  us for our IDs for basic identity verification and handed us our prize. My friend and I were dumbfounded and just sat there. The days from the time we were informed that we won to the day we were about to claim our prize seemed like a dream to both of us. The dream finally had become a reality when we had the prize in our hands. We were all smiles from that time on.

Claiming our Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 10.1

I was very impressed that the Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 10.1 is very light. I am no techie so I won’t go in depth. The sounds were amazing. The touchscreen was also good. I had a bit of  adjusting in using the tab because it was my first time using a Samsung Android. A little adjusting was not bad. It was not that difficult figuring out how to use the tab.

Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 10.1

My only disappointment is that the rear camera is only 3MP and the front camera is only VGA. Both the front and rear camera doesn’t have any flash features nor do they have any auto focus function. I love taking photos and the camera is a huge aspect of my deciding factor. I always say that if a gadget has poor camera functions it’s a gadget not worth it. But who am I to complain, I got it for free. It’s not that its unbearably awful anyway.

Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 10.1

Well, that’s me trying out the front camera of the Tab 2 at 12 in the morning. I didn’t edit the photo in any way. The camera is very MEH but the rest of the functions are alright. I had been enjoying tinkering around my Tab 2.

Have you tried any Android gadget or Samsung gadget? What is your favorite tablet so far?

Jacques

To a Healthier 2013

I know this is already a long-delayed post, but I felt obliged to still push through it. This way, I would be reminded of my goals for this year.

  1. Wake up early!  Because I am such a slacker. I love my bed so much that no matter how early I sleep, I wake up at noon. I feel my days have become unproductive.
  2. Sleep by 12 midnight. In order to wake up early, I must also sleep early. As much as possible I hope to be bed by 12 midnight so that I would be fully recharged by the morning.
  3. Read the Bible every morning. I believe reading the Bible is such a necessity to daily Christian life. But because I wake up late and end up hurrying to school every single day, I tend to neglect my Bible reading.
  4. Jog at least THRICE a week. Like I said, I am such a slacker. My heart needs serious pumping and my body needs some sweating.
  5. No carb diet for dinner.  (Except on special occasions) I have gotten real fat these past few months. My largest pair of jeans hardly fits me anymore. Terrible, terrible.
  6. Drink more water! I am obviously dehydrated because I always forget to drink water.
  7. Avoid fast food, soft drinks, milk tea. Avoid things that are fattening and unhealthy.
  8. Shopping ban. To all my wants. I need serious saving up. The only things I allow myself to buy are those which I actually need.
  9. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize! 
  10. Wear sunscreen.
  11. Remove makeup before bedtime. I am a constant offender on this case. There’s be days when I just forget that I have makeup on. Sometimes, I am just too tired or lazy to remove it.
  12. Wash my face before bedtime. With or without makeup, our face needs to declog from all the dirt it has accumulated throughout the day.
  13. Blog at least TWICE a week. I won’t neglect my blog any more.
  14. Read at least ONE book every week. Any genre, any kind. I have neglected reading books for almost a year now. It’s either I kept buying or I kept borrowing and never reading any of it. Now all my books are just piled up somewhere gaining dusts.
  15. Connect with old friends, and make new friends.